


Nonsense

by Dragonsquill (dragonsquill)



Series: Hobbit ABCs [12]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Everybody Lives, Ficlet, Gen, alphabet prompts, possible full length story to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 12:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsquill/pseuds/Dragonsquill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For my alphabet prompts: Nonsense: There are secrets Kili doesn't know, and they could be enough to rip the foundations from his world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nonsense

“No.”

Kili says the word, feels it, drowns in it, because-

“That’s impossible.”

-his whole life has been pointed to this moment and now-

“Absolute nonsense! Tell them, Fili!”

-Kili looks at his brother. Fili would make this right, Fili would know this couldn’t be true.

But Fili-

-looks down and away, and won’t meet his eyes.

“… Fili?”

Fili shakes his head, honeyed hair all tangles and blood from the battle. 

“Brother?” a whisper.

But. No.

Not his brother.

“Fili has served us well,” Thorin says, and there is a level of kindness in his words, but it’s for Kili, not for Fili, seeming to curl in on himself.

Always for Kili.

Because-

“Living as your elder brother and heir has kept you safe, as we’d hoped. When there were attempts on the heir’s life, they were aimed at him, and not at the true prince. But Erebor is ours again, and our people are coming, and it’s time to tell the truth.” Thorin’s fingers dig gently into Kili’s shoulders, but he’s not the one who needs it. He’s not the one-

Thorin walks around him and looks into his eyes with infinite fondness. “Kili, Crown Prince and Heir of Erebor.”

Kili tears his eyes away. He can’t look at Thorin, not now. Instead, there is Fili, and his shoulders are shaking.

His calm, focused, loving Fili.

“You knew?” Kili asks, and it hurts his throat to say the words, as if it is a scream and not a whisper.

Fili goes still.

Then he raises his eyes, blue and bloodshot and filled with pain. “I … forgot. I was so small. I barely remembered. Sometimes I thought it was a dream. But before we left, Mother said-” his voice catches, but he doesn’t look away. Fili never hides from hard truths. “Dis reminded me, of before I came to live with you. She reminded me of my other - of my family. She reminded me of my other name. I remembered why I look-”

Blond hair and so small amongst the tall Durins, fair where they are dark.

Kili pulls away from Thorin’s hands, reaches out. “Fili-”

Fili smiles, and though there is an ache of sadness, there is a reality as well. “I did always remember,” he says gently, “that I exist to keep you safe.” 

Kili’s name on Fili’s lips, and Kili would be dead without his brother.

Without-

“There was a Fili once, Kili,” Thorin says, “and we couldn’t save him. So we-”

Staring at Fili, at this stranger who knows his every secret. “Replaced him.”

This is why Kili has attended all of Fili’s training. Not because he was the spare, but because he is the _only living heir._ This is why they were raised in each other’s shadow.

This is why Thorin always prefers him, spoils him, is more likely to listen to him, though Fili is smarter and more thoughtful and just-

“A necessary subterfuge.”

Kili strides forward, reaches out, and Fili tries to flinch away but Kili won’t let him. He wraps his arms around Fili, draws him close, feels the catch in Fili’s chest. “No,” he whispers into Fili’s hair. “No, it’s not true. It’s-”

“True,” Fili says, Fili, who would never lie to him.

Fili, who has lied to him every day of their lives.

Fíli who is-was-never was-his-

Fili-


End file.
